(This is sort of a cross between a serious and a fun post, because while it's a little soul-searching, it's pretty humorous as well.)
Every time I decide I'm going to share something I've created, be it visual, musical, or just something I've written, there's a seven-step process I go through before bringing myself to sharing it with anyone.
Step 1: Create said thing. Usually it's the first ten pages of a novel, or a book-jacket style blurb, though occasionally it is a Youtube video, and, on even rarer occasion, it is a song. For example, a while back I wrote a song on the guitar called "Too Good For Me" that I'm seriously considering trying to sell.
Step 2: I mention my creation, thinking that it will be ignored like most of my status updates. At this point I am usually proven wrong, as I was Friday, when Gwen commented on said status and asked if I'd play it for her. This brings me to
Step 3: Contemplation. It's at this point that I narrow my eyes and tilt my head at my computer screen to assess whether or not I'm really comfortable sharing what I view to be a poor attempt at creativity with someone whose opinion I value. Eventually my vanity wins, and I proceed to
Step 4: The Sure! I'll play you my song/read you my novel/hang my deepest inner thoughts up as target paper in the gun range of your constructive criticism! stage. At this point I haven't really thought through what sharing actually entails. But it never fails, sometime later, like when I'm about to say my bedtime Rosary, it hits me.
Step 5: Abject Panic. This particular case hit me a little hard. I've only written one other song with the same amount of emotion as "Too Good for Me," and since it was written much, much farther in my past than TGFM, it doesn't feel as raw, or fresh, or scary to share. It also occurred to me last night that TGFM is ABOUT a MAN. That set of a fresh wave of AHHH!!!!! on top of my usual nerves.
Step 6: This is the stage where I decide something to the effect of, "Well, in the long run, it'll probably be a lot less embarrassing to play the song for a gal pal than when Judgement comes and said MAN the song is ABOUT becomes aware that at the age of 19 I wrote a song about him." This is the, "Oh, why not?" stage where I jump in and despite the jitters, decide to share my work anyway. However, I often teeter between stages 4-6 until I at last reach
Step 7: Another human reads/hears/sees what I've made. Have not yet reached this stage. Bourbon's heard part of the song, but not the whole finished kit and kaboodle. It's high time to share, I suppose, so...Bourbon, Gwen, I'll be pulling my guitar out soon!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
1 comment:
Hello and welcome! This blog deals with many aspects of my daily life, from the sweet and silly to the sad and stressful. And like any blogger, I CRAVE feedback.
There will be times when this blog deals with weighty issues of doctrine and theology. I welcome various differing opinions and believe civil, healthy debate is a good thing. However, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all, as the saying goes, and I will defend the Church if She comes under attack. Thank you for understanding. :-)
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LOL~ Lacy, whatever you think of her music, Taylor Swift has made, oh I don't know, a small stinkin fortune and has a legion of fans, because all her music is about real relationships. There is even a story about her hanging out with Kelly Pickler, Kelly had just gone through an ugly breakup and Taylor's response was just don't sit there and cry, write about it!!!! And um, that song was Kelly's next hit :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think all creative/artistic types feel the same way about sharing their work. Good gravy, when I was in my twenties there were exactly two people who were allowed to read anything I wrote, and even now that I'm more open, I almost always offer a disclaimer, discouting it before others get a chance to.
So, pull out your guitar and play woman!!!!